Dudeman, where's my car?

Vancouver won a prestigious award this week:

#2 in traffic!

The obvious solution is the triplet the Port Mann.

Or, people should just live closer to where they work.  If you work in Vancouver, live there.  If you live in Abbotsford and you're going to get in your car at 6 AM, it better be to the Coquihalla.  There is never a traffic jam heading east.  Ever.

The dudeman doesn't commute.  Rule number 8, or whatever rule we're on.

But the dudeman does need a car.  He's going places, just not to work.

I present three fully capable options.

The Classic Tercel wagon

Conquering the Mt. Cheam fire road.

It's four-wheel drive, it's got loads of space, and it's cheap.  This car will tackle anything, at speeds up to 80 km per hour.

The hail-damaged insurance write-off

It's ruined.

This can be any car, per se.  The important thing is that, although there's nothing actually wrong with it, it has no value.  Hence, there can be no further objections to racking up tons of miles and taking it places you probably shouldn't.

This Pathfinder

Dudeman makes a compelling case, which requires no further elaboration.  Unless you're this guy, he's not going to sell it to you.

Dude Man Lube.

Now I've spent a ton of my life riding bikes and one thing that always boggled my mind was the price of chain oil.  A shop will charge like 8-10 dollars for a tiny bottle of this bike-specific lube.  Now I drive a beaut of a car that I have to put oil in from time to time.  So, when I ran out of the real bike lube, I decided to put some motor oil on my bike chain, and it worked just as good, if not better.  Plus it costs like $5 for a liter.  And cheaper just means you have to work less and play more, and that's really what we all want.  Thank you Pennzoil for making such a great product.  A liter of this stuff will last you forever.  Boss!  Dude man don't care.

One by ten

I haven't used my big chainring yet this year.  And, now that I think about it, I haven't used my little one either.  So, today, I took them off.

One degree of freedom

It's better because it's simpler and cleaner, it's lighter, and it gives you more clearance.  It takes half an hour and it's free.
  
Both of the fastest bike riders I know (and all-around full dudemen) Ricky Federau and Neal Kindree, have been set up this way for quite a while now.  Neal crushed everyone at the Test a few weeks ago and Ricky can tango with the professionals and he's a professional chicken farmer.  That's not to say it's faster - Ricky and Neal (and not their bikes) are faster - but it is sufficient to say it isn't slower.


And there's no downside.  If you're going fast enough to use your big ring, you're probably coasting.  If you're going slow enough to use your little ring, you might as well walk.  


If you use your little ring all the time, I suggest taking up nordic walking or STOP READING RIGHT NOW and just go ride your bike.  Riding your bike will solve all of your bike-related problems and likely some other ones too.


On the other hand, if you don't use it, you don't need it and you'll be better off without.