The obvious solution is the triplet the Port Mann.
Or, people should just live closer to where they work. If you work in Vancouver, live there. If you live in Abbotsford and you're going to get in your car at 6 AM, it better be to the Coquihalla. There is never a traffic jam heading east. Ever. The dudeman doesn't commute. Rule number 8, or whatever rule we're on. But the dudeman does need a car. He's going places, just not to work. I present three fully capable options.
The Classic Tercel wagon
Conquering the Mt. Cheam fire road.
It's four-wheel drive, it's got loads of space, and it's cheap. This car will tackle anything, at speeds up to 80 km per hour.
The hail-damaged insurance write-off
It's ruined.
This can be any car, per se. The important thing is that, although there's nothing actually wrong with it, it has no value. Hence, there can be no further objections to racking up tons of miles and taking it places you probably shouldn't.
This is their third duct-taping. Initially, I didn't have time to go out and get new ones - I was on my way to Rossland for the Dudeman Games - and now it's apparently too late. I don't think it should be too late.
I wear flipflops year-round. I don't think you have a very good life if you don't.
I fielded two questions recently which prompt this post. 1. What luxury items do you take hiking? 2. What's the #1 accessory I should get for my bike? The answers... 1. and 2. None. That's not to say you shouldn't take anything with you - you should take what you need. If you take more than that, you're just weighing yourself down and you'll have less fun. This morning, I went for a run along the river pathway in town. Being a Sunday morning, there are tons of 'serious' runners out on their long runs, and they are typically loaded down. They have hats. They have sunglasses. They have ipods. They have belts holstering half a dozen tiny waterbottles. They almost always start overdressed, so they are also carrying jackets and gloves, etc... they have taken off. Sometimes, they have gels taped to themselves. They are on a path in the middle of the day and they are covered in reflective taping. They mostly look miserable, as if they are engaged in some chore. (Guess what? No one, and I mean no one, needs to run. And, for that matter, almost no one is going to accomplish anything running either... that's a topic for another day.) I've run around the reservoir from my house, which is about 38 km, a few times with half a (regular) waterbottle. So I think that's what you need. When I go into the mountains, and there is any potential to spend a night out (lost, injured, or with complete equipment failure), I think I should be prepared for that and so I take this:
(You should also bring a buddy.)
Granted, a night out with a space blanket, a lighter, and little food would be uncomfortable, but I would certainly survive (and I'm willing to prove it). I would rather be uncomfortable in the unlikely circumstance of spending a night out than the rest of the time, saddled with a bunch of extra stuff. I also take tools and materials to fix a flat and a chain, and make minor adjustments, if I ride my bike. Those are likely circumstances (I got 8 flats in one day last month) and you should be prepared for those too. I'd rather spend 5 minutes fixing something and carry a few extra ounces than spend a few hours hike-a-biking a few times a year. Obviously, your individual preferences may vary, but for the most part, I just don't think most people are even thinking about what they actually need.
I'll never forget the moments after team "the full dudemen" won the RedBull Divide and Conquer. All the racers were hanging out at the RedBull tent and over the megaphone we heard 'would the full dude man please come up to the stage'. This was a call for our team to come to the stage; however, there was like 5 or 6 other guys who also walked up to the stage. They of course were thinking, 'Hey, I'm a full dude man'. So this brings up the question who and what makes a dude man a dude man? I'll try and fill you in with 8 simple rules and attitudes that can make you a dude man. 1-Dude Man is the master of all, and jack of none. This comes from the phrase 'jack of all trades, master of none'. So basically dude man is just good at everything he touches. He is oozing with talent in everything he does. He can try wind surfing on a whim and just slay it. Dude man is kinda like Chuck Norris. 2- Dude Man don't care. Dude Man is like the honey badger:
He just don't care. It's pissing rain? Dude Man don't care. We have to sleep in car? Dude Man don't care.
Dude Man sleeps with sunglasses on.
You wanna drive 8 hours both ways to do a 4 hour bike ride? Dude Man don't care. You wanna have cereal for dinner? Dude Man don't care. You shovel chicken shit for a living? Dude Man don't care. You haven't had a shower in 2 weeks? Dude Man don't care. 3-Dude Man is on a full-dairy, full-meat, full-gluten diet.
Clean your plate, son.
He does't show up at a dinner party and say 'Oh, I'm vegan and I won't eat that rare bloody steak. Oh, does that beer have gluten in it? I can't drink that. Ice cream gives me gas.' Dude man! If ice cream gives you gas, that's sweet. Your own brand is not so bad. Dude Man just eats everything and doesn't complain about it. 4-Dude Man gets shit done. It might not always be pretty, but it always gets done. Dude Man is persistent. When there is a tree across the road, you just build a new road around it.
New road.
You break your chain? You have a chain tool and you know how to use it. Skins not sticking? You duct-tape them on. Dude Man can suck it up.
You need to go from Liptovsky to Prague in a compact when a few dudes, a few boats, and a bike? No problem.
5-Dude Man does not play games. That means no sucking up to the fire chief to get that napping and bbq job. No whoring yourself out to the industry to get a free set of tires. Dude Man tells it like it is and bends over at the cash register if need be. However, Dude Man does everything in his power to avoid paying retail. 6-Dude Man is not a punter. When it's 4th down, Dude Man sends out Peyton Manning and goes long. He doesn't send out the kicker and just give the ball away. When there is a river-wide hole the size of China, Dude Man boofs it like a champ and maybe gets pitted, so pitted.
Or if there is a sick booter into a blower pillow line, Dude Man just goes for the back flip and maybe ends up doing a lawn dart. Or he sticks it. It's all cool dawg.
Full lawn dart.
7-Dude Man doesn't always race, but when he does, he races to win. Half-ass is not in Dude Man's vocabulary. It's full win-or-hospital. Either you don't care to compare yourself to other people, or you're going to crush their balls.
Dylan Wolsky, of The Nomads, leaving it all on the trail.
8-Dude man is not a dick swinger. A dick swinger is someone who has something that's not really needed but you want to show others how big your dick really is. Like they guy driving his lifted Dodge Cummins diesel truck down Robson Street with 2 sleds in the back. He revs his engine saying check out my dick, its huge! Or the guy who lives in a 6000 sq ft house with a 4-car garage. Maybe he needs the 4th garage to make his house into a massive dick? Dude Man doesn't need to swing his dick. When it comes down to it, we are all really just mid-pack in the rat race, and there is no need to swing your dick around, except as a joke.
I can't say enough about Vavra Hradilek's performance in the Olympic qualifer on Sunday morning. Here's the play-by-play:
For his first run, he arrived at the start just a few seconds before he was scheduled to start, coming off the conveyor and directly onto the course. He made a small mistake right away, in the first offset, then settled in, and was very solid all the way down on a run where everyone looked a little bit lame. It was good enough for second. He gave the brown claw at the finish.
So brown.
What the hell does that mean? Here's some required reading.
On his second run, he arrived at the start pool early and looked bored as he bided his time. Then he absolutely smashed the course - he did a crossbow in a move that caused most of the women to spin yesterday - beating all of the first run times even after floating for ~5 seconds to the finish. Hannes Aigner was more serious, went similarly well, and won the day.
The kayaks have stepped up their game this year, in particular the young Germans, French, and Czechs. Kauzer and Molmenti look flat by comparison and could easily end up outside the medals, despite having dominated in the last quad.
In other Olympic news, an expected showdown between Martikan and Estanguet lived up to its promise this morning. Martikan went gold, silver, silver, gold at the last four; Estanguet won the other two. No one makes it look better. They are the best of a generation, if not all time, at any discipline.
Estanguet took it. Here's his last run (probably his last ever):
What's happening? I've been in the mountains a lot.
Last, last Saturday I went to Lake Louise with Vinnie and Jas and they made me climb up some rocks. Lake Louise is beautiful and nowhere else can you climb in front of as many Japanese tourists. I have to agree with Ricky here, though - climbing makes you feel like this. It's worst if you don't really know what to do with your feet and invariably end up doing an endless series of pull-ups with your fingertips. This is what I do. Vinnie is getting good. Jas walks up climbs that make lesser dudes sound like this -
Here's Vin, on the hardest route he tried -
On Sunday, Jas, Vin, Liza, and I put in a big day in k-country. We started at Barrier, rode the Prairie View / Jewel Pass loop, had a snack at the car, then rode Baldy Pass.
Baldy is one of my all-time favorites. No one ever goes there. It starts with a long climb, then a bomb back to the road. The first part of the descent is loose, then it's bouldery and technical, then, about halfway down, you can just let go of the brakes and send it. I got the hole shot and led it out.
Prairie View.
Mike got permission to put temporary gates up at the weir on Tuesday and everyone went out to paddle for at least a few hours. A bunch of media people showed up (and not in the usual way, which is to do a story about drowning).
So good! Gates at the weir.
If there were permanent gates at the weir, I don't think I'd do much else in the summer. It's fast, it has good features, and it's right by my house. The current plan (pending approval) is to put up at least some in the fall.
Apparently, a storm blew through CNC on Friday night. There were huge piles of mangled pop-up tent frames everywhere on Saturday morning and they had to delay the start as they set everything up again.
Mountain bike sprawl, redux.
Once it was going, it was good. I rode five laps, a little faster than an hour during the day and a little slower at night. I went for it on the second lap, burned out with a climb to go and lost back any time I gained. Full coma at the finish line. After that, I did a better job of pacing, went just as fast, and had way more fun on the course. That solves that problem...
Everyone on the team - Liza, Shane, Grant, Erdem - was solid and we ended up on the podium. It was Erdem's first race podium and he was elated. Super fun!
